6 posts tagged “roller derby”

After recently being denied entry into a local Flag Day parade, some drama broke out. When we were initially denied, no information was provided as to why we were not accepted into the parade except that we did not meet the requirements. Any person would wonder what requirements those were, we were told they would send us a list stating them, but it was never received.

This has unfortunately lead to all kinds of shit going on. Since this is my first year in roller derby, my first season, even, I suppose I never considered people saying this to me. My being 5'6 and 200 pounds, people calling me skanky

never really seemed like it would happen to me.

The Post-Crescent, a local news-paper for the city where we have our bouts and practice chose to write an article about what was going on with the parade. As it was revealed to the reporter, but not directly to us, it was because we did not specify how we chose to decorate our float and present the flag. That is understandable, and most of us have accepted it as an unfortunate misunderstanding that ultimately is not preventable any longer. Perhaps next year.

While the article itself was not biased, I don't think, and well written, people have chosen to begin their attacks on the nature of derby itself, and then ultimately the women skating in it.

Anya B. Hinds has been decided as a sexual oriented name, which I couldn't disagree more with. I said what I had to say, I thought, as politely as possible, but still it continues. Stating that it is not family friendly, and that it's a sport created by men to watch us fight? I haven't been in a fight as of yet, and as a naturally agressive person, I wouldn't play in a sport that promotes it. It makes me sad, because I've spent the last two years of my life taking care of children, and being a role model for them. Some of the kids that I've worked with have even seen me play in my bouts with their parents, who enjoyed it immensely. I've never had to argue that I play in a sport, or anything of that nature. I don't intend to, I'm merely going to let this sift off into past memories, and save the arguments for more important things.

The thing that really sticks in my craw is that as a child care provider I interacted with hundreds of people who might think the same thing, and would never even know that I played roller derby unless I told them.

I suppose it's why we have our alter-egos. Our track personas, if you will. Although, it's weird to hear my own real name anymore.

I suppose I just wish that while other people would express their opinions, they would refrain from calling us skanks, or tell us that we're not really playing a sport. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, right?

 
http://www.postcrescent.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080518/APC0101/805180582/1979

I am now missing a chunk of my finger.

Don't let your hand get run over by a girl in skates.

1. Reason for joining derby?

I'm like a small human shaped explosion. You never know what I'm going to knock down, or burn. I'm like "POW!" and people are all like "Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" Then I'm like "Yeah, what now? Whatchu gonna do about it? Huh? Huh? You gonna cry?" Also, when I was a kid I didn't understand why being a Super Hero was not a good career choice for the future. This is the closest I'll ever get, because wearing underwear outside of the pants is not commonly accepted in modern society.

2. Celebrity you'd most like to hip check?

Bono. Then I would not only hip check him, I would leap at him like a spider monkey. He wouldn't even know what was going on, he'd just be like "Blah, blah, blah, Darfur... is that a spider monkey? Ahhhhhhhh!"

3. Shaken or stirred?

Stirred, but that's only because I liked swirled ice creams.

4. Who's really bringing sexy back?

Patrick Stewart, 24 hours a day.

5. If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you HAVE
to bring?

Since I'm not a particularly practical person I would not bring anything practical. Since this says nothing about it being a desert island, I'm assuming there are nums nums and water. I'm pretty confident that I could punch a water buffalo to death if the need arose. So, I would bring... my potato head collection. I think that Cast Away taught us all the importance of having things with faces around. Secondly, I would bring some Aquanet. There's no need to look haggard even if you are alone on an island. Finally, I would bring, Billy Blank. I cannot stress how important it is to know how to Tae Bo any kind of wild animal that may try and kill you. You will kick its ass while firming your thighs. You can't go wrong.

Roller derby rules in Appleton
So, I went to a roller derby on Saturday.

That's right. A roller derby. In Appleton.

There was a time when people dared to strap on skates and fling
themselves around an oval track like race cars, with the goal of
knocking as many people on their butts as possible. Teams like the Los
Angeles T-Birds and the Bay City Bombers battled in an inherently
dangerous sport where the combatants would dropkick and clothesline
each other to prevent the jammer from getting to the front of the
pack. Fans would pack arenas to see this demolition derby on skates.

Well, those days are back. A roller derby revival took place Saturday
at Skater's Edge in Greenville. It was the first public exhibition for
the Fox Cityz Foxz, one of the newest teams in the Women's Flat Track
Derby Association.

Though similar to the days when the T-Birds ruled the rink, this
neo-derby has some differences. There are actual rules in the WFTDA,
so there's no dropkicking and no brawling. The games take place on a
flat track instead of a banked track with rails. And as the name of
the league implies, only women compete.

But the basic concept is the same as old-school roller derby. There's
lots of crashing and bashing, lots of rear ends hitting the floor and
plenty of high-speed maneuvering through the pack. The players have
suitably intimidating names like Grin Reaper and Juliet Decaputate.

I suspect many of the players have real lives that are far removed
from the chaos of the rink. There was more than one player who spent
an hour cracking skulls and then skated off to greet her young child
with a big hug. Another player said if it weren't for the Foxz, she'd
go postal at work. Makes me wonder what she does for a living.

If Saturday's exhibition bout, in which the Foxz played each other, is
any indication, the team won't have any trouble finding fans. A few
hundred people showed up to see what this roller derby thing is all
about. There was a lot of ooh-ing and ahh-ing when players would hit
the floor and cheering when a jammer would break through the pack. At
least one player already has her own fan club, as there were several
folks decked out with Dee Dee Kuppz T-shirts.

I'm attracted to anything retro, so I appreciated the throwback nature
of the game -- there are no rollerblades here, only the hardcore,
two-up-front and two-in-the-back skates. But most of all, the idea
that roller derby actually exists in our sleepy little community is
kind of incredible. Anything that chips away at the notion that we're
only about football and cheese is a good thing.

-Eric Klister

Had Derby practice last night, it was tons of fun, as usual. I think I hurt my fingers, both pointer and middle fingers on each hand. They're both functional, but they hurt like hell, and they're kind of swollen. Probably just jammed them. They both have their normal range of movement too, so I'm not worried.

Last night I got a skate up my ass, it hurt. That's about that.

However, while I love my teammates, I feel as if they don't love me. If that makes sense. A lot of the time it seems that a majority of the girls won't talk to me or don't want to. Whenever I do talk to them I feel like I'm forcing them to. It's confusing, and it's kind of upsetting me. Who am I going to talk to about it though? I work with kids, I know I sound like a baby, when there's probably nothing going on, but it's just how I feel.

There are really only two people who even really talk to me without me talking to them first. I kind of wish I knew what, if anything, I'm doing that puts me in this situation time and time again. It's not a great feeling, to say the least.

Beyond that, I found out yesterday that my dad and my step-mom are probably going to get a divorce. At least, that's what my dad told me. My dad has told me this every year since they got married, 4 years ago. I don't know. They've been together since I was seven, but whatever. I don't know how I feel about this. What are the rules to a divorced step-mom you've known forever?

I feel like even though it was highly volatile it was the most stable home I ever had. Even with all of the insanity that occurred there, it was still home. Who knows. It's not like my step-mom would cut me out of her life. Listen to me, I'm twenty-two years old and I'm being a cry baby. haha.

When I was younger I wouldn't have cared. It would of just floated off my back in the general sense of interconnectedness and cruelty of the world at large. Now, especially since I moved out and started paying my bills, I realize the the world is just targeting me in general. When it rains, it pours.

It's always pouring somewhere.

I told my mom something last night on the way home from practice, that I probably shouldn't have. Now she's really upset. I didn't mean to do it, honestly. It just came out, and while it doesn't bother me in the sense of what happened, it should. She was extremely upset. She said she was sorry, but it wasn't her fault. I think on some level I think that it was my fault, and since I've accepted that I'm a fuck up in general, this really doesn't bother me. I've messed up my life and my fiance's life, but I keep trying even if it is pretty pointless.

The man's NYE event fell through, I thought there was going to be some serious trauma, he's been going through some stuff with his friends. He's okay though, a lot better than I thought he would be.

But, like I've always said.

We'll figure it out, we always do.

I had so much fun last night! It was my first practice with the Fox City Foxz!!!! I haven't had that much physical activity in a long time.Oh man, I felt it too. Right now I'm feeling fine and dandy, still a little exhausted, but I'll definitely feel it tomorrow. My range of movement right now is a little short, but I'll be fine.

BUT.

After practice, which I'm not afraid to say kicked my ass seven ways to Sunday, I threw up. Now, the exact reason I threw up, I don't know, but I have some theories. Yet, here is the story about how I threw up on myself.

So, after practice I stumble out to my car, fucking exhausted. I was feeling practice, so I wasn't worried about being a little light headed. 1. I've never quad skated before, only inline and 2. I'm fat, and I was roller skating.

Anyway, I get to my car I start to drive home, I get onto Highway 41, and I can just start to feel myself feeling like I'm going to be sick. It wasn't bad though, and normally it will go away after a little while. But NO! No, I ended up making an emergency exit off of the highway, and just as I was about to get to a place I could pull off, I just threw up.

On myself and my car. The weird part was that it was just all liquid. It didn't even smell. After throwing up the first more, I pulled into a (thankfully) closed gas station, and puked all over their parking lot for about five minutes. Halfway through this the man called, and he got to listen to me throw up some more, and he agreed to meet me at a bar a few exits up the road to see if I was okay (1) and to see if I could drive my car home in the state that I was (2.)

Now, during practice I consumed a TON of water. I was mostly trying to fight off being dehydrated, I get really thirsty really fast. If you're thirsty while you're playing a sport you're already dehydrated. Now, I work out, and I always drink water. Here is what I think made me throw up.

I haven't played a sport in well over 5 years. When I did play sports I drank water. Why? I was used to playing sports still, and my body had enough energy to do so. What should I have done last night? Gatorade. I ate a small meal an hour before practice so that I wouldn't throw up (haha, ironic.) That's one thing that has never changed about me, before strenuous activity, I cannot eat. I will hurl everywhere. So I ate a small meal.

Anyway, after my body consumed all of the energy available in the small meal I had, it only had water to feed off of. Which I think, in the end, was my fatal error. After throwing up though, I felt great.

Until I tried to eat some food, then I felt like throwing up again, so I went to bed.

But yeah! It was super fun! I've never quad skated before, and I had to kind of learn how, but after I got it down I was stellar. I need to work on crossovers + get my own skates. The rental skates always suck, everywhere. Yours would too if 320842098433 people had worn them. Anyway, I'm stoked. I can't go tonight, but I'm going to Sunday's practice. It was so great.

Yesssssss.