5 posts tagged “foxz”

1. Reason for joining derby?

I'm like a small human shaped explosion. You never know what I'm going to knock down, or burn. I'm like "POW!" and people are all like "Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" Then I'm like "Yeah, what now? Whatchu gonna do about it? Huh? Huh? You gonna cry?" Also, when I was a kid I didn't understand why being a Super Hero was not a good career choice for the future. This is the closest I'll ever get, because wearing underwear outside of the pants is not commonly accepted in modern society.

2. Celebrity you'd most like to hip check?

Bono. Then I would not only hip check him, I would leap at him like a spider monkey. He wouldn't even know what was going on, he'd just be like "Blah, blah, blah, Darfur... is that a spider monkey? Ahhhhhhhh!"

3. Shaken or stirred?

Stirred, but that's only because I liked swirled ice creams.

4. Who's really bringing sexy back?

Patrick Stewart, 24 hours a day.

5. If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you HAVE
to bring?

Since I'm not a particularly practical person I would not bring anything practical. Since this says nothing about it being a desert island, I'm assuming there are nums nums and water. I'm pretty confident that I could punch a water buffalo to death if the need arose. So, I would bring... my potato head collection. I think that Cast Away taught us all the importance of having things with faces around. Secondly, I would bring some Aquanet. There's no need to look haggard even if you are alone on an island. Finally, I would bring, Billy Blank. I cannot stress how important it is to know how to Tae Bo any kind of wild animal that may try and kill you. You will kick its ass while firming your thighs. You can't go wrong.

Roller derby rules in Appleton
So, I went to a roller derby on Saturday.

That's right. A roller derby. In Appleton.

There was a time when people dared to strap on skates and fling
themselves around an oval track like race cars, with the goal of
knocking as many people on their butts as possible. Teams like the Los
Angeles T-Birds and the Bay City Bombers battled in an inherently
dangerous sport where the combatants would dropkick and clothesline
each other to prevent the jammer from getting to the front of the
pack. Fans would pack arenas to see this demolition derby on skates.

Well, those days are back. A roller derby revival took place Saturday
at Skater's Edge in Greenville. It was the first public exhibition for
the Fox Cityz Foxz, one of the newest teams in the Women's Flat Track
Derby Association.

Though similar to the days when the T-Birds ruled the rink, this
neo-derby has some differences. There are actual rules in the WFTDA,
so there's no dropkicking and no brawling. The games take place on a
flat track instead of a banked track with rails. And as the name of
the league implies, only women compete.

But the basic concept is the same as old-school roller derby. There's
lots of crashing and bashing, lots of rear ends hitting the floor and
plenty of high-speed maneuvering through the pack. The players have
suitably intimidating names like Grin Reaper and Juliet Decaputate.

I suspect many of the players have real lives that are far removed
from the chaos of the rink. There was more than one player who spent
an hour cracking skulls and then skated off to greet her young child
with a big hug. Another player said if it weren't for the Foxz, she'd
go postal at work. Makes me wonder what she does for a living.

If Saturday's exhibition bout, in which the Foxz played each other, is
any indication, the team won't have any trouble finding fans. A few
hundred people showed up to see what this roller derby thing is all
about. There was a lot of ooh-ing and ahh-ing when players would hit
the floor and cheering when a jammer would break through the pack. At
least one player already has her own fan club, as there were several
folks decked out with Dee Dee Kuppz T-shirts.

I'm attracted to anything retro, so I appreciated the throwback nature
of the game -- there are no rollerblades here, only the hardcore,
two-up-front and two-in-the-back skates. But most of all, the idea
that roller derby actually exists in our sleepy little community is
kind of incredible. Anything that chips away at the notion that we're
only about football and cheese is a good thing.

-Eric Klister

I had so much fun last night! It was my first practice with the Fox City Foxz!!!! I haven't had that much physical activity in a long time.Oh man, I felt it too. Right now I'm feeling fine and dandy, still a little exhausted, but I'll definitely feel it tomorrow. My range of movement right now is a little short, but I'll be fine.

BUT.

After practice, which I'm not afraid to say kicked my ass seven ways to Sunday, I threw up. Now, the exact reason I threw up, I don't know, but I have some theories. Yet, here is the story about how I threw up on myself.

So, after practice I stumble out to my car, fucking exhausted. I was feeling practice, so I wasn't worried about being a little light headed. 1. I've never quad skated before, only inline and 2. I'm fat, and I was roller skating.

Anyway, I get to my car I start to drive home, I get onto Highway 41, and I can just start to feel myself feeling like I'm going to be sick. It wasn't bad though, and normally it will go away after a little while. But NO! No, I ended up making an emergency exit off of the highway, and just as I was about to get to a place I could pull off, I just threw up.

On myself and my car. The weird part was that it was just all liquid. It didn't even smell. After throwing up the first more, I pulled into a (thankfully) closed gas station, and puked all over their parking lot for about five minutes. Halfway through this the man called, and he got to listen to me throw up some more, and he agreed to meet me at a bar a few exits up the road to see if I was okay (1) and to see if I could drive my car home in the state that I was (2.)

Now, during practice I consumed a TON of water. I was mostly trying to fight off being dehydrated, I get really thirsty really fast. If you're thirsty while you're playing a sport you're already dehydrated. Now, I work out, and I always drink water. Here is what I think made me throw up.

I haven't played a sport in well over 5 years. When I did play sports I drank water. Why? I was used to playing sports still, and my body had enough energy to do so. What should I have done last night? Gatorade. I ate a small meal an hour before practice so that I wouldn't throw up (haha, ironic.) That's one thing that has never changed about me, before strenuous activity, I cannot eat. I will hurl everywhere. So I ate a small meal.

Anyway, after my body consumed all of the energy available in the small meal I had, it only had water to feed off of. Which I think, in the end, was my fatal error. After throwing up though, I felt great.

Until I tried to eat some food, then I felt like throwing up again, so I went to bed.

But yeah! It was super fun! I've never quad skated before, and I had to kind of learn how, but after I got it down I was stellar. I need to work on crossovers + get my own skates. The rental skates always suck, everywhere. Yours would too if 320842098433 people had worn them. Anyway, I'm stoked. I can't go tonight, but I'm going to Sunday's practice. It was so great.

Yesssssss.